Why Empathy is Addicting
Offering empathy to yourself or to others is a gift. A huge gift. Most people in the world are empathy deprived. They are not listen to, yet they are offered advice, a suggestion or the other person’s story. The focus goes off of the speaker and on to the listener. This is where the deprivation begins. Empathic listening can save all relationships, including marriages, friendships, and even business relationships.
Empathy restores this energy instead of an emotional loss from a lack of understanding or listening.
Dr.Marshall Rosenberg’s definition of empathy is “A deep understanding what another may be experiencing. The hard part about offering empathy, is that people think that offering a suggestion or advice is helpful. It is just the opposite, when somebody really needs to be listened to. Maybe 20{43188a7dd839b6435400250daa1cfd1f7fa6a9f2f74b5d47d7c17eef7596ad2a} of the time people want a suggestion or advice first.
Yet most of the time people want to be understood first before they receive a suggestion. The following is an example of using empathy. Notice when I reply. I keep the focus on the speaker. Ask yourself, what need is the listener offering empathy to?
Empathy in Action:
I asked a friend what he was doing today. He said “I’m going to Los Angeles to help my daughter with her new business”
I focused back on him and asked, ” So you value contributing your time and knowledge to her?”
Immediately, his eyes watered and he looked more energized and just said, “yes”. We were now more connected from this empathic guess.
The needs I was guessing that were met were contribution, time and knowledge. Using these needs/values in our conversations build connection and trust.
This is what empathic listening does:
1: It energizes both people.
2: Builds trust
3: Builds emotional connection
4: Feels great. I read that it secretes endorphins and oxytocin. The feel good chemicals in our brains.without running a marathon.
5: Creates more understanding between 2 people
6: Dissolves resentment and enemy images. And so much more…
Can you see why I am addicted to empathy? It does only good things Try more empathy this week with the people that you communicate with..
Remember to set your intention for connection, focus on the other person first, reply to what they say with understanding and empathy. Then watch their reaction to your gift of empathy. Feel the endorphins start moving. It feels great for both of you and will raise the energy.
